Subscribers that is …… and a smattering of Stoicism along the way
This is just a quick post, which is most definitely less Stoicism-related than my recent bombardment over the last few months. I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of my 50 (now 51) subscribers. When I moved over from Medium I set my first goal as a writer on Substack at reaching 50 subscribers and with all of your help I have somehow hit that target right on the head.
I would offer advice on how I reached this milestone (minor to some I know but it brings me much pride) however that is not what this newsletter is about (and I wouldn’t recommend taking it either as I have made every mistake known to man over the past few months). So I would like to give you a quick reflection on the practice of Stoicism based on the difficulties I have faced in the past fortnight. This will make up a longer post in the near future but for now, I thought it would be a nice reward for my 50 (51) subscribers (depending on your opinion of my writing which like my own views probably varies day to day) and share my initial thoughts.
A Quick Recap
On Wednesday the 15th of May 2024 I was hit by a car while cycling to work (if you could leave your opinions on cycling at the door it would be helpful in this exposition). A week on I am still recovering from the injuries caused by my motorist friend which are thankfully not serious. I did not have to go to hospital and the event was thankfully not as painful as the last time I was knocked down which resulted in a broken jaw. However, they have provided their own form of mountain to scale.
I immediately attempted to throw myself back into work, but unfortunately, this was not the correct decision. Although I could work effectively as normal, mentally and physically it was absolutely exhausting. I struggled onwards for three days including the day of the accident before calling a halt and going to a doctor, who gave me a week off.
What I learned
I have as a result of the kind (if somewhat erratic) physician been able to think on much of what happened and will try to briefly summarize the thoughts that came to me in the past few days.
Firstly I would say it is never a bad thing to ask for help. Some situations are manageable on our own, but it is rarely necessary to go it alone. Reach out even if it is for a quick chat to discuss what happened in a traumatic situation, shock has a strange effect on the brain and can sneak up on us at any stage. No one will think any less of you for having asked for help and while their responses may not always be perfect, there are plenty of people out there who care enough to help I can guarantee that much. As Marcus Aurelius stated:
“Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?”
Secondly, the locus of control remains your best friend in any given situation. In the immediate aftermath of being hit by the car, I was helped by a fellow cyclist and a nice passerby, who made the process a lot easier at that moment. However, this was temporary as shock soon kicked in. My head was spinning from everything I had to do in the situation, coupled with everything that could have happened had the motorist been moving even a little quicker.
I tackled this by taking a deep breath and dividing out what lay within my control and what lay outside of it, ticking off as much of the former as possible. If not for my continued practice of this cornerstone of Stoic philosophy, I may have succumbed fully to the shock that was threatening to engulf me and been unable to handle the situation effectively.
“The key to control is not in controlling external events, but in controlling your own mind.” – Seneca
Finally, it is important to be patient with ourselves in good times and bad, particularly the latter when we have an extra burden placed upon our shoulders. Taking shock as an example, for those of you unacquainted with near-fatal accidents it presents itself in a myriad of ways. It also may not be the easiest to identify until we take the required time to analyze our situation and feelings with a proper degree of introspection. Therefore in bad times irrespective of how severe or traumatic the event may have been, we need only turn inwards. We should also engage in introspection and make of our own minds the greatest of allies. As the old African proverb goes,
“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm”
Take the time to sit with the feelings emerging from such a traumatic event, let them wash over you and whatever you do do not repress them. At the end of the day, we aspire to be Stoics, not stoics!
One for the road
While it may not be an entirely Stoic notion, it is also vital to recognize the wonderful people we have around us. It is far easier to be grateful when the people we love are there for us during our most difficult moments. However, we should endeavor to always show them the appreciation they deserve irrespective of the current circumstances. If there is one point of perspective that has stuck with me since my accident, it is that you never know when any moment may be your last. It may be your final chance to say I love you or I am proud of you, amongst an endless list of lines we as people in the modern-day simply do not say often enough.
So go on, stop reading this article, and go ring your loved one; wife, husband, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother father ….. whoever it is don’t put it off any longer.
“You are living as if destined to live forever; your own frailty never occurs to you; you don’t notice how much time has already passed, but squander it as though you had a full and overflowing supply — though all the while that very day which you are devoting to somebody or something may be your last. You act like mortals in all that you fear, and like immortals in all that you desire…” – Seneca
An end at last
As one final announcement, I would like to let you all know that in my time off I have launched my own website. It has taken much in the way of blood sweat and tears, whilst still remaining firmly a work in progress. However, I am beyond proud of my efforts so far and would appreciate you my dear subscribers taking a quick peruse. Feedback (as long as it is nothing but sheer unadulterated positivity) is hugely appreciated, as is your continued readership here on Substack which means the absolute world to me.
A Stoic for Any Season
Gotcha ….. bet you thought that was the end of the article, didn’t you? Well, I just wanted to thank my wonderful girlfriend Aoife for all of her help and support in my writing journey, and my everyday life and for looking after me the past week. Just as importantly however she deserves all the praise in the world for providing me with the adorable 50 candles and deep dish cookie you see proudly displayed in the featured image of this article.
As I said above, go on give that person (or people) a quick call you won’t regret it!
